Saturday, January 12, 2013
Young & Inferior
Recently, someone had done a painting that looked so similar to me. Very excited and flattered, I asked him if it was. All I got was a sarcastic remark and I was left standing up for myself against these two adult women whom were defending for him. I wouldn't have had a problem if someone had said calmly that it wasn't inspired by me, but it was a coincidence that it looked like me, but nothing like that happened. Instead, I was discouraged by these two adult women rather rudely. After some time, I thought that all the drama was finally over until another adult woman just had to jump in and accuse me of bullying the artist as well as insult my mother on parenting. (By the way, this woman doesn't even have kids.)
I was so upset, I was shaking. I was sick to my stomach. Just because I asked a simple question, I get bullied for standing up for myself. One of these women is a photographer, the other is makeup artist and the last runs her own website/business and here I am, just a sixteen year old girl. I feel like that's all I am. I don't have a job or a career. I don't have money. I don't have many friends besides my mom. I'm only a sixteen year old girl and I feel like I don't have a voice. I feel so inferior to these women... One of the women kept messaging my mother saying that I'm going down such a negative path and that this behavior will hurt my future career and just all these insulting things... I don't understand why she can't talk to me. It's like she has to "tell on me" to my mom, but she has been sticking up for me the whole time so she knows all about this. I hate that the woman did that because my mother doesn't need anymore stress and this is my problem. I'm the one who was put down because of a simple question. I guess I'm "too young" to talk problems out. I would have been happy to just to talk things through, to try to work things out, but with the woman going on and on, insulting both me and my mother in the process, it seemed like there would be no end.
I think that the whole scene is over, now. But yet it still bothers me. I am disgusted by the fact that the artist let the problem get to the point where I was in tears, having to block people from multiple social networking sources. I was so horrified by this experience. I haven't gone through bullying like this since elementary/middle school! If I were him, the artist, I personally would have told the girl that it was inspired by her even if it wasn't, because it would be hard for me to break someone's hopes. I don't like hurting people.
I feel like because I am so young, that I am apparently easier to attack because I am virtually nothing. Nothing but some kid. Apparently, it's "wrong" to stick up for myself, but I will continue doing so no matter what because I have respect for myself and I strongly believe in where I stand. And if you don't stand up for yourself, who will?
These women used to be friends of my mother and I, but from this incident, I have learned that people aren't always as sweet as they pretend to be. It's very sad, but so true. And you have to be careful who you trust because of that. If you are ever bullied, please do not be afraid to stand up for yourself. A voice is very important even if it's not heard, if it's not heard, it will always matter. But it's so important because it means that you are being true to yourself and you're not letting anyone walk all over you.
From this whole crazy everything, I have learned valuable lessons and I have grown stronger. From everything that happens in my life, no matter how great or horrible, I accept it all an experience to learn from. Actually, I'm now more inspired to grow up to be the better person. And also, I've been motivated to focus more on my artwork and my other hobbies. Because of my feeling inferior, I am now working harder to surpass that awful feeling.
Maybe you'll learn something from my experience. I hope that you will never have to go through with something like getting bullied, but it does happen. It happens so much and there's nothing you can do about it, but being truthful to yourself and holding on. It will all get better eventually. :)
“Too many people grow up. That's the real trouble with the world, too many people grow up. They forget. They don't remember what it's like to be 12 years old. They patronize, they treat children as inferiors. Well I won't do that.”
-- Walt Disney